I want to thank everyone for all of the cards, plants, flowers and donations this weekend. We had a great turnout at my mother’s visitation and funeral. Thank you for coming out and celebrating her life with us.
As far as how I’m feeling, I have been less nausea the past couple of days. I also feel less pain and will know more as the week progresses.
The mind is a crazy thing. Dealing with both an ill mother and my cancer has put me in war mode. I’ve had to reach a certain state of mind that helps me stay focused on getting well. When my chemo day is approaching I have to focus on pumping my self up because I know that I’m going to be sick for several days. Being mentally prepared for those days helps me power through. I’m not dealing with little, daily problems at work. I’m dealing with life and death and must stay strong. Only the strong survive! With that being said, it doesn’t mean I’m disrespectful, not appreciative, or don’t need my friends and family. I have to be cautious not to close out those closest to me. I’ve been asked how I stay in war mode and there are several factors that help me. First, receiving texts, calls and emails from friends and family remind me that I have support. The main reason I stay strong is my faith in God. He gives me strength each and every day. Even on the days I don’t feel great, God gives me strength and protects my mind from negative thoughts. I’m sure some people say I’m just finding God because I’m sick and there is truth to that. It took a serious illness to slow me down and help me find God. I don’t ever plan on loosing him again though. Don’t wait for something tragic to bring you to God.
For years I thought Christians were weak because they needed someone else to make them strong. I didn’t agree with the saying “turn the other cheek” and thought it was an excuse. I use to believe strength came from physically being able to protect yourself. I’ve had broken noses, fractured sheens, black eyes, bruised ribs, hurt backs, 2 rounds of cancer and with all of that physical violence, I’ve found that physical fighting is not what has given me strength. God has given me strength. He fights my battles for me.
With God’s help you can do anything. His strength enables us to face situations with grace, humility, kindness and perseverance.
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalms 73:26