Thursday, December 24, 2009

Is that a probe or a 2x4?

A few days ago an old friend came in town and some of us decided to get together and catch up. While visiting we started discussing different medical procedures/tests we've suffered through. I thought I'd share with you the example I told the guys. Before my surgery 3 years ago the doctor told me I'd need one more test ran. I was skeptical because most of my other tests had been done rectally, but the doctor told me all I needed was an MRI and I immediately felt relieved. As a firefighter claustrophobia is not something you are concerned with, so I knew sitting in tight quarters for an hour or so would be a piece of cake. I even confirmed with the front desk that all I needed was a simple MRI. Once receiving that confirmation I relaxed and enjoyed reading my book until my name was called. Eventually, a male nurse came out and called 5 names, mine being the last. He lined us up near the dressing rooms and began calling out orders to each of us. He started with the first person in line and told him to strip down to his underwear, put the gown on and go to room 1. He then told the 2nd, 3rd and 4th person all to strip down to their underwear, put on the gown and go in their room. Then, he got to me. He told me to take off ALL my clothes, put the gown on and go to room number 5. Red flags immediately went up and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. I called the nurse into my dressing room, sat him down and asked, "Why am I different than everyone else?" He replied, "Well, sir, your test is different because it is done rectally." They then brought me into a room and of course there were 2 LADY nurses to administer the test. They asked me to get on the table, lay on my side, and they pulled out a probe that looked like a 2x4. They put the probe in, and you roll to your back and then lay in the machine for 45 minutes to an hour. Let's just say it was uncomfortable. After the test was over 2 NEW woman nurses came in to remove it. Of course, it couldn't be the same nurses who had already seen everything. When they removed the probe I told the nurse that I felt violated and that she at least owed me lunch. She laughed but her elderly nurse friend did not agree. I did receive lunch, but I payed for it myself. At the time the test seemed traumatic but looking back it's just kind of humorous. I survived!

"A heart at peace gives life to the body." Proverbs 14:30

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